A girl walks into a bar...

In honor of my best friend, Riot Kitty, and her funny story about a strange craigslist ad, I had to share a story that sort of relates.

As a graphic designer for a number of years, I still have frequent referrals to do a project here or there. A friend of mine said he had a college buddy getting ready to start a business and they needed a logo and some marketing help. I set up an appointment to meet him and his business partner at a local Starbucks.

They were easy to find since the place was empty. We did the typical introductions, I showed my portfolio and we discussed their expectations. They wanted a logo for a "specialty products" business. I was thinking promotional products like pens with logos. Cups with pictures.

First off, you can't get work done for free. "Not much budget" always means "broke" and I don't work for free anymore, no matter how many fabulous millions of dollars people promise me they'll pay me once the thing takes off. I have kids to feed and rent to pay. A good logo can take 10-20 hours to work on. These guys wanted $1000 worth of full color illustrated logo for nothing.

I explained that the local art school or Portland State would be a better option if they didn't have a budget. You can get a student do work for all but free just so they have something for their portfolio.

"Well, we can work in trade." OK, this is not usually a good idea, but I always like to see what someone wants to barter. "What were you thinking?"

At this time I want to paint a picture of this guy. Dressed in slacks and a jacket, his business partner is a female who is wearing really expensive shorts and a t-shirt. They look like they just walked out of Abercrombie and Fitch and surprisingly came to life from their former plastic mannequin status.

"Well, we're starting a porn resale shop so we could trade you for all the porn you want." The guy said this with a straight face. Porn? RESALE PORN????

I can just see their ads. "Slightly used snuff rag...."

Suffice to say, I asked them not to use my name if they asked for a student at the art school...