Can I take your order please?

41 years. Forty one. That's how long I've been on this earth. You'd think I would have learned a thing or two in that much time.

But the thing I just learned, in the last 48 hours, is that I have a lot to learn.

Sometimes a bad day is more than a bad day. And when it is, you need to hunker down, reach out and ask for help. Even help in the form of a full 12 hours of a constant hug. I never wanted to be one of those girls that say "If you love me you'd..." But a perfect moment can be feeling yourself falling apart and having someone say "what can I do" before you even have to ask.

I also had someone remind me that I am strong and that things will be OK. SOON. The soon part was very important. I have a great life I'm designing and I don't want to miss it having a breakdown.

So I asked for help. In prayer to the goddess and the universe and god. In word to my circle of friends (who are, right now, surrounding me with love and emotional bubble wrap and chocolate). In my deeds by reaching out to others who are also struggling and letting them know there IS light. If I say it often enough, it will become true. I also received emails from 3 relatively new friends who don't know me well, asking if I need anything. It felt amazing and brought on a new slew of tears, this time tears that helped to cleanse the despair I felt. And replace it with love.

They are all doing what I would do if I were watching a friend go through this. I am getting what I give. And it's amazing. THANK YOU.

I love and I am loved.