I always wanted to be someone's muse. You know, have some starving, crazed artist draw me, paint me, write a song about me. Cut his ear off if I'd just love him for a day. How cool would that be?
I'm happy, though, to be known for the things I do for others. But I have some hidden, special qualities that make me think a position of muse may be in my future. And that makes me think it's time for a little meme, a shout out to my best friend, Riot Kitty, who I'm fortunate enough to be lunching with today. We have to have something to giggle about over tea and spring rolls!
5 THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE ME A GREAT MUSE
1. I have great hair. Isn't great hair necessary to becoming a muse? Since I highlight my hair now, I wouldn't be able to donate it to charity like I did before. So, until or unless it makes me nutty and I implore Kevin to chop it off to my shoulders again, long it stays.
2. My toenails are painted sparkly blue. When I wear sandals, people comment on them all the time. A muse should be someone who's not afraid to march to the beat of their own drummer. Yep, that'd be me.*
3. Monkeys love me. I attract them from near and far. The six I have now are Rabies (currently visiting my pal Fireblossom), Asthma, Syphilis, HIV (who we call hivvie), and the newest (and softest and bluest), Gangrene. Who wouldn't want to write a story about a girl with monkeys?
4. I attract dragonflies. Or at least I used to. I hope the stream in my park is good for making them hang out here - that and the beautiful trees. A good, healthy population of dragonflies brings good luck and happy dreams. They're like pretty dinosaurs.
5. I can be moody and difficult and tempermental and brooding and.... um.... isn't that a requirement for being a muse? Kind of like being aloof. And good at making tea and apologies after being all those things.
I could add more. I like to talk in incomplete sentences, even though I'm often called the grammar police. I like banana cream pudding - the world's perfect food, especially with whipping cream. I like to be random - or maybe it's just that I AM random and I've learned to like it? I talk to people and make friends wherever I go. All things that I would think set me up perfectly to be muse material.
OK, boys and girls, I want to hear what would make you a good muse. We all have deep, hidden things that would make just the right person want to paint a beautiful picture of us - right before being locked up in the loony bin.
*No actual toes were harmed in the making of this blog. My lawyer (um, daughter, I mean) demanded that I add that. Goofball...
Geez there is nothing about me that would make any one else wanna paint a picture of me!! To be honest I wouldn't want them too. The thought of someone studying me would make me very uncomfortable! :D
ReplyDeleteHey, #5 is me - no identity theft! Did you know that Yoko Ono even followed John Lennon into the bathroom?? Seriously.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any desire to be a muse. I'm the one who needs a muse. I've found it's totally true for me, if I have someone like that, I write like someone plugged me in to the angels.
ReplyDeleteYou must be a good muse, I wrote "Walnut Tree" for you. Now if you'd just do me that teensy tiny little favor and turn gay. But nooOOooo.
You have some excellent attributes to become a muse. I can asure you of that because I am a muse to my spouse and inspire him to mow our lawn in beautiful patterns.
ReplyDeleteWell, I haven't gone off-color for a while so it must be time. You said
ReplyDeleteeven though I'm often called the grammar police. I like banana cream pudding - the world's perfect food, especially with whipping cream.The grammar police would know Whip Cream is a tasty treat but whipping cream comes after a rough session of...what? hello? hello? is anyone there? I better go now. :-)
Joe: Oh come on - it's be fun!
ReplyDeleteRK: Now that you've given up coffee, I expect you to be bright and sunny all the time. Kay?
Fireblossom: Turning gay or ungay, now that would be a trick! Ooh. We'd make millions! Evil plan developing.....
Annie: See! I just like the idea of having that sort of effect. It's intoxicating, isn't it to have him mow patterns.
Now Darth, I know it's fun to think about whipping the cream and all, but I also know boys don't always shop. I intend to find me a carton of whipping cream and send you a picture. You'd like that, wouldn't you?
After seeing you feet I would love to give you a smooth foot massage. Hows that for being a muse?
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on #5 and I can whip up a killer café con leche day or night (to ease the pain). My nail polish is usually white or blue, never red...but the hair, oh, the hair...ALWAYS red and flowing, like the wine.
ReplyDeleteSalud!/Cheers!
PS - Go Rich! :)
Rich: There is nothing more appealing to a girl than the thought of being pampered. But you knew that...
ReplyDeleteScarlet, darling, white polish? How classy! And no matter WHAT RK says, my hair is red - strawberry blond counts!
Tell Riot Kitty to dye her hair red and we'll take her with us and we can pick up that fiery Fireblossom while we're at it! If only LL Cool Joe didn't live overseas...
ReplyDeleteAh, pictures are never quite as good as scratch and sniff pics, but we take what we can get *wink*
ReplyDeleteI think Joe likes to travel, my darling red friend. A trip to the continent could make him happy, I hope!
ReplyDelete