Saturday, April 4, 2009

Yo'ure turning violet, Violet


I love Pop Tarts. And frozen pizza. Cartoons. Making mud pies. And being silly.

I admit that's why I had kids. Not because I wanted to add good, solid citizens to the world, make sure our families carried on after we're gone, or create the next genius, rock star or poet.

Nope - it was so I can buy Fruit Loops without guilty looks at the market.

This worked out well for me when the kids were little. They'd get Cocoa Puffs and to watch bad television all day long. They didn't have to fight me for the remote to make me stop watching soaps so they could watch Batman. But they would have to make me change it from Ren & Stimpy to Bugs Bunny. Unless it was the episode with "Don't whizz on the electric fence" song. Now there's a life lesson.

Now, we all watch Southpark together. It's better than bad, it's good. And we sing in the car to old soundtracks from our favorite Nickelodeon shows - Angry Beavers (OK, you dance to that one); The "Spring Cleaning" song from Rocko's Modern Life (I can get a good 10 minutes chores out of them by starting to sing that one); and especially Family Guy. Stupid seem to be a favorite of ours. We love watching good bad movies - like the new Willy Wonka. Or the old one. My favorite line of that one is my title here. Oh, if only bad little children had to suffer severe consequences of their actions.

So what happens when the kids go off to school, leave the nest and leave me alone to my own devices? Will there be Fruit Loops? Will there be Pop Tarts? Of course. I'll just have to pretend they're for my kids....

7 comments:

  1. You just made me nostalgic for my Ren and Stimpy album! I had it copied on a cassette which I wore out at some point in the nineties.
    Happy happy joy joy!

    Seriously though, I think you've hit on the reason that parents pressure their adult children to 'give them a grandchild': Fruit Loop justification. And I mean that on so many levels.

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  2. Oh god, remind me to tell you the story about my brother, Eric Cartman, and Henry Miller's pornography.

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  3. My daughter still can't watch Willy Wonka because of that scene you mentioned here, and if I were to show her the photo of Violet turning violet, she'd have nightmares. It freaked her out THAT bad.

    My all-time favorite kid movie (back then) was The Parent Trap. I wanted a twin sister so badly after that!

    Btw, I have no fear of buying Fruit Loops, Pop Tarts or eating banana baby food out of a jar. I love Gerber's! ;)

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  4. Believe me, you time will come again in the form of GRANDKIDS!

    Thanks PG for your encouraging words on my blog about Ron. He has recovered well from the accident.

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  5. Bring them out for me too..me wanna have some fun too when the kids are off to school kekekeke...

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  6. I think there must be something wrong with me! I've never eaten fruit loops or pop tarts! My older daughter isn't allowed any food or drink with e numbers. Even with crisps (chips to you) she's only allowed the Kettle ones which have nothing added to them.

    Apart from music, I never watch tv either! My younger daughter loves cartoons and stuff.

    I'm sooo boring!

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  7. just stock up on all the seasons now so you can say, "Oh, my kid(s) watched those...".

    I try it with my collections of the Simpsons, all the recent animated movies (Shrek, Shrek II, Cars, Madagascar, the list continues).

    Of course, in my case the excuse is severely hampered by not having any kids...

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