Until then

Have you ever considered how random life seems to be most days? If I choose the turkey sandwich over the veggie... If I go down this street - for whatever reason - instead of that one... if I decide to stay home or not stay home - or whatever I decide to do or not to do. Will the bridge fail? Will the accident happen? Will a war start - or end - or never happen?

Life continues down its own path, whether we like it or not. Some of you may believe in a higher power, like I do. Be it God or Buddah or the energy of the universe. Others believe in nothing, just themselves and their moment on the earth. We all have our reasons for what we believe - be it faith or fanaticism or selfishness. Whatever drives us to be who we are will ultimately drive us to do what we do, good or bad, full of faith or full of mirth.

What happens when a decision you make affects the very length of another creature's existence?

Have you ever been drawn to someone or something, almost unnaturally so? Has there ever been a strong sense that you were supposed to do something, for whatever reason, and you fought it with all your will because you KNEW it was crazy, how could something so simple be destiny or the will of the world or anything more than a messsed up whim? Beyond that, what if you question the validity of the very act of wanting? You, after all, have no right to want. You have no reason to need. You have no destiny of hope, only sorrow.

Or maybe, just maybe, you had your sign. You were told what you were supposed to do. And you didn't do it, to appease someone elses made-up order that rules your world today. Or, to appease yourself, to not take another risk. No more risk means no more pain, right? And, hasn't there been enough, in the last year, for a lifetime? What bad would have come from taking a risk? What life would you be living right now, today, if not for that decision to NOT act. Not yet.

When the ruling and the order become more important than your soul, what happens next?