I get it now. I know why the feeling of impending doom hung over my head all week. It was time for another emotional smackdown, another added stress in an already stress-filled couple years.
This time, thank God, it's only a financial setback. I'll find soemthing to fill in the gaps, things could have been worse.
But how come I got the gift of knowing when trouble is brewing? That and a strong connection to people who aren't here anymore. I want to be oblivious and happy. I want to take things in stride.
But instead, it's time to go to grocery stores and get a 2nd job as a checker. Or maybe someone, somewhere will hire a 41 year old ex-waitress. Unemployment in my state topped 10% and it doesn't include people like me - people that took whatever they could find and are underemployed, haven't had a good job in years. Ran out of benefits months ago.
I wish I hadn't seen it coming. Now, what to do? I have my pencil sharpened, time to find something. Anything.
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Hang in there sweetie...I have the same thing - it's like our guts are warning us. Only mine is usually about family members and friends having bad illness and death! That would be worse, right? Call if you need me...or some chocolate.
ReplyDeleteWell, now that you have your #2 pencil sharpened, it's time to put on your thinking cap.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. We all want to be oblivious and happy, but we're not. We're brilliantly clairvoyant AND we're not where we want to be financially...yet.
I hope you find something you like soon and that you get paid a fortune for it.