I was always afraid I'd grow up to be nothing. I was never told I was good at anything (even thought I was good at lots of things). I was always trying to gain attention from my parents, my teachers, my friends.
Today, I hard from an old friend, who reintroduced herself by saying "How's little miss perfect?" I was pissed for about 12 seconds. Then I burst out laughing. And sent a little love her way. What a great memory!
I was so worried when I was in high school about being good at eveything I tried. Straight As, a number of awards including perfect attendance, craftsman of the year (boy, could I make that jigsaw sing), record breaker in track, senior choir my sophmore year... and all for what? I walked out of the school and started over at the bottom. I was so disappointed, had worked so hard - thought I'd finally arrived to realize I was starting over.
But I did good. I'm an awesome mom. Great cook, good dancer, good at my job even if I don't like it. I know how to make things happen. I get stuff done.
And I can write.
My friend, Tracy, hasn't seen me since I was 18, more than 23 years ago. And in those 23 years I seemed to have learned something. It's not about arriving somewhere. It's about what I learn along the way. I wonder what roads she's been down? I can't wait to hear all about it.
This next phase of launching may include a tango in Miami, some laying hens in my back yard and lots of moments when I say "wow". About a sunrise, a blog written by a friend that touches me, and especially about feeling the love all around me.
Do you feel it?
How warm and mushy! Your nickname was better than mine...mine was Little Miss Bossy! At age 5, anyhow.
ReplyDeleteIn high school, it was "jailbait."
If you can parent, cook, dance and make things happen, you ARE perfect. Not "little miss perfect," but you know what I mean...above-average perfect.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, you can write. Honestly, I don't know why it's taken me so long to become a regular on your blog.
Btw, did I read something about a "tango in Miami?" Hmm...
You go Girl!!! No one is perfect but you are know we are perfectly good at everything which we endeavour....so there..... :D
ReplyDeleteYou girls rock - thanks, fan club. You always make me feel good!!
ReplyDeleteMy nickname in JR High was pylon.... because the boys loved to pile on me when I played football. Which I did rather well, thank you! RK, I think we'd have been trouble together.
And yes, Miami is on my radar, Scarlet. Maybe to celebrate a wonderful first month at the fabulous new job to come!!
S: We do rock. Yes, we do!!
High school age, I picked up my phone extension only to hear one friend say to another friend, "How is Miss Queen Bee" today?" referring to ME! I had attained my goal early since I was a Princess (according to my dad) on my way to Queen. LOL
ReplyDelete"Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way." That should be your theme song.
Love this post PG. Love the sunshine in blogs too!
I think too often we think about the stuff that we can't do or maybe haven't yet achieved. It's often hard to say "I've arrived! This is what I'm good at and this is what I do, and I do it damn well!"
ReplyDeleteSociety teaches us the opposite, leaving us to feel constantly like we've failed.
Annie - I LOVE IT! I'm going to sing that song to anyone who listens today.
ReplyDeleteJoe - Well stated. Today I vow to just "be" and not worry so much about where I need to be next. Maybe tomorrow, too.