Just in time

After a very stressful week - interviews, a new part time job, the end of the school year including finals... I was a wreck on Thursday. A complete and total mess. Why? Because I lost sight of one major, important detail.



I am not perfect.



My feelings can be hurt, I can be pushed too far, I am just as susceptible to self-doubt, exhaustion and overbooking as everyone else in the world. Having a bad moment is normal for human beings. Having a bad day or bad week happens to the best of us. But, unlike me, most people don't have a strange string of luck that can seem all bad - until hindsight shows what it was all about. "Oh, NOW I get it..." Sorry it took me so long, universe, and to almost instantly forget the lessons I've learned since October. I'm here for a reason and I'm supposed to do good in the world.



There are no immediate solutions to some of my current issues. I need a full time job - desperately, since I want to be able to afford to feed my kids. I want a job that MATTERS. I lost sight of that for a couple days (thanks for the reminder, RK!!) Today may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I intend to live in the moment today. I want to celebrate my wins - and there are quite a few over the last couple weeks. New friends that give without wanting anything in return. Long time friends who come to visit me, bring babies to squeeze and buy me coffee. The world is beautiful today - sunshine and blue skies.



I will look back on this time in my life, some day, and hardly remember how it felt to be in flux, unsure of where the next step will take me. But I'm trying to love the unknown, embrace the constant changes and be true to me, just for today.



Care to join me?