Can I just say I've always had a thing for the UPS guy?

The world is a rather strange place sometimes. I'm so excited about my new place (as I cough from the possible asbestos and icky mold that came up with the carpets an my mom proceeded to SWEEP in my general direction) that I hate being stranded in the hills, waiting for the thaw. I almost said spring thaw but am afraid I'd jinx myself...

So here I sit, boxing stuff I don't like, thinking of all the things I need to sell (anyone need a good fridge?) and working laboriously to make Christmas happen for the kids. We put up the fake tree yesterday. No ornaments, but it's a tree. I guess. Remember that Charlie Brown Christmas Special?

Then I looked at the tracking data from UPS for the couple hundred dollars worth of Christmas I ordered from amazon.com early last week. Um - I thought I did the right thing since I couldn't get out because of the storm and figured we couldn't get out much this week due to the move. Now UPS tells me that an act of God has delayed the packages. Do you think God could postpone Christmas for me, then?

So I scrambled - to buy a couple goofy little things to wrap and put under the tree. And, I'm printing pictures of all the gifts they'll get - whenever the UPS trucks dig out. They'll open the right number of boxes, they'll just be empty of the actual item they're getting. I can see it now, "Aren't you excited about the boots, Sara? When they get here..."

But can you imagine the day these guys will have tomorrow - Christmas eve? My doorbell may be ringing at midnight and I may be wrapping until the wee hours - but doesn't that sound like fun compared to the poor drivers from DHL, UPS and Fedex who have been sitting on their hands for days? Who will probably get yelled at when they come to any number of freaked out parent's doors tomorrow? Who will be blamed for the delays in arrival of every pair of jammies, every turtleneck from Lands End? Every Coors neon sign for a 14 year old boy (don't tell Sean) and every black kitty hat for blue haired 15 year old girls? Because, after all, my poor planning (or actually just being poor) becomes their problem when we get 18 inches of snow one day.

I plan to make eggnog - the good kind and the really good kind - and share with anyone who rings my bell tomorrow. And those guys who deliver my packages.... theirs will be the very good kind. My hero, UPS man.

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my

I think of the Wizard of Oz when I think of my life at the moment. Flying monkeys and wicked witches with green skin and scary hats don't seem so crazy in the grand scheme of things.

We are the product of our environment, after all. I seem to fall into old patterns when things go sideways - as the past 2 years will prove.

I felt like I don't deserve a decent job

or decent house

or a decent pet

let alone a decent relationship

But my daughter reminded me today, bless her heart, of all the things I DO RIGHT. That's correct. Things at which I do an acceptable job. Are you ready? Join in and make your own list.

1. I can bake cookies. Homemade ones. Chocolate chip, oatmeal, snicker doodle, cowboy, peanut butter, fudge... that, by itself, makes me a good mom.

2. I am infinitely patient. As more than half an hour in a freezing car outside the library, waiting for said daughter to emerge with the latest excuse for taking so long, will confirm.

3. I'm the cool mom. We do fun stuff. Zoo trips to take pictures of poo, homeschooling to include Journalism through the eyes or the readers of the Weekly World News, dog training with steak as motivation, music appreciation via Brian Setzer Concerts at the age of 5.

4. I can make the best of every situation. I'm alone, have little income and a pit bull, but seemed to have found a really awesome new place to call home today. Amazing (see picture, above).

5. I BELIEVE. That good things come to those that work their butts off. That love given is returned tenfold. That there's nothing better than homemade pumpkin pie, a fake tree full of sparkly white lights and a fresh coat of paint on Christmas morning. In 2008. And we won't go without Christmas this year.

6. The future will be what I make it. 2009, watch out. I have lots to prove and even more energy to throw out there. Anybody want to come feed the ducks in my new front yard - a 55 acre park full of ducks, casting ponds, basketball hoops and teeter-totters? My door is always open to my friends, old and new. Email me for the address... we have room to spare and a couch if you need a place to crash. Nobody will be turned away. If I have a crust of bread, I'll share it. And the universe will always provide.

7. I have two completely phenomenal kids that love each other (when they're not trying to poison each other) and a bunch of friends for whom I would do anything and vice versa, and a really cool dog that, although not perfect, warms my feet and walks with me and adores me. No matter what.

new days

Some mornings, in a previous life, I used to wake up at 6am, raring to go, with my to do list written, my day planned to the moment and that feeling of power that makes a crazy person say "watch out world, get out of my way!"

Now, it seems to be a rare occasion for me to wake up and not immediately put my head back under the covers, wishing 2008 would just go away, already.

But does a bad year like this one really end on December 31st? Is that magic midnight hour really life-changing?

Here's a thought for all of you out there... if today is all I have, and I need to not look forward to anything other than what I have now, why get out of bed? And no, Makers Mark is not a good answer to that question...

I used to always look forward to New Years Eve, when I was young. The night was full of magic and possibilities. I used to wish I had a date (and never actually did) that would kiss me at midnight and make some kind of mystical beginning with a fresh set of expectations. I'd watch all the action from the sidelines, wishing someone was looking across the floor, waiting for the stroke of 12, and making sure he kept an eye on me so he wouldn't miss out.

Maybe this year it will be more fulfilling than in years past. Maybe all the things I need to do over the next 4 weeks will all be done on time (fingers crossed) and to a better resolution that I expect (please, universe, make it so!) and we'll have a lot more than just silliness to celebrate. Maybe there will be a kiss at midnight. Because its about time this morose and dark hearted girl has a little celebration.

Here's to a new home, a new beginning, new opportunities and a New Year full of hope.