Love, loss and DDR

It's a big day in my world. My little girl turns sweet 16. Oh, the expectations she has - of this birthday and of the world. We've been through the worst 2 years anyone could imagine and are closer than ever - she, her brother and I. We see light at the end of the tunnel on a lot of issues. She is finally off antidepressants and sleeping at night. We're close to taking her off other meds that have side effects she doesn't like. She's painting, singing and trying to laugh as often as possible. Her hair is still blue, the cat ears are still present daily. All good things considering the dark despair that overwhelms her at times. All of us suffer from it a bit, I know, but this little girl has more dark places than most people see in a lifetime.

We're in the middle of a move to a new house that has lots of potential and very few square feet. Oh, and one bathroom. I've never felt closer to the kids. We laugh a lot. We play on the merry-go-round across the street, chase ducks, look for stones to skip in the casting pond. I have wonderful neighbors, a kind family and amazing friends who have stuck by me through this horrendous and chaos filled time in my life. I wake up every morning grateful for what I have and thanking the universe for the positive things to come.

Birthdays mean everything in my family. All we want and expect is complete and utter devotion. Presents aren't quite as important as love. Kindness. Baked goods. So, for Sara's 16th birthday, I have some wishes I want to give her.

1. I wish she keeps her strong attitude and determination

2. I wish that as she gets older, her anxiety will quiet more often and be more easily managed

3. I wish she will have a chance to meet wonderful new people throughout her life

4. I wish her love from her family and friends

5. I wish her a really cool birthday party today that meets all her expectations

6. I wish that she finds hope where there is darkness and peace where there is chaos

7. I wish she'd clean her room more often ;-P

8. I wish she could see the beauty in everything

9. I wish that we'd have more happy days than sad ones

10. I wish that the new world that is beginning would be good for her and all the young people of the world

11. I wish that she would recover from heartbreak quickly and see the benefit of loving with your whole heart

12. I wish that her friends were closer and could come over more often

13. I wish that her room didn't glow in the dark

14. I wish that her brother will always be her best friend and confidant and protector and that she will be the same for him

15. I wish that she will always love to cook be adventuresome in the kitchen

16. I wish that she would know that I admire her for everything she has accomplished and that I will always be proud of her

Sixteen silly wishes for a girl who turns 16 today. I also wish I could beat her at Dance Dance Revolution but I don't see that happening, since she's a DDR shark!! The crew will have a blast at her party today - Sara is very generous to others. And, she should feel the love from every angle as we wander through this new adventure. Together.