November 4th

For those of you who didn't know, I turned 40 this year. Nursing a husband through colon cancer and chemotherapy did very little for the spirits last January. Things did not improve as the year went on and I find myself at an odd crossroads where what I used to think and what I'm going to think have no common thread. I just think my birthday sucked.

A friend recently told me I need a do-over. I like the idea. I think the only positive outcome of the whole fucking mess was in the shape of a gift from my friend Jen. She bought me an hour with her psychic.

OK, I've never so much as had my palm read as an adult (high school doesn't count - and they never could tell me who the love of my life was going to be - cheaters). I thought it would be a hoot and made an appointment to go in and meet her, talk with her. She said to allow an hour and she told me to bring something very personal to which I have a strong emotional attachment.

I took the ring I wear almost every day that I bought in San Francisco, on my first trip away from the kids, and sat as she asked me a few simple questions. Who am I, kids, marriage, friends, job, what do I want to know.

First, she told me that I was about to go through chaos like Id never seen. Check.
Next, she told me my son would be VERY ill and it would be very difficult for western medicine to diagnose and treat him. Check.
Then, it was about some of the people in my life - my friends. That a lot of them were not healthy and that I needed to revisit who I spend my time with. Again, not a big stretch, but interesting information since I was going through a metamorphosis of sorts.

Now it gets interesting. "You'll write something profound that will change the world." Yeah, I'm sure that last paper on Interactive Voice Response is a page turner. "Really, you have something within you that needs to be released. Go write." Whatever. We'll forget about the hundreds of hours in the dungeon on the book and the screenplay.

"You also have a number of past life experiences I'd like to share."

I lived in Hungary in the 1700s and fed the poor
I was a famous ballerina in the early 1900s that loved deeply, stirred passion in a large number of people for my art, died a tragic death.
I have never been a parent before but always wanted to be one.
There is someone out there, who I already know, that will become infinitely important to me in October.
I should be careful what I wish for. My spirit is owed a powerful wish and it will come true, good or bad.
And then there was November 4th. "You have no idea how deeply affected you will be on this day. Your entire life, perspective and expectations of the world will change in one quick minute."
Of course, after the year I've been through, I dread the fourth. Wish we could skip it. Might just hang out in bed.

Or, I might walk through my day, expecting big things and have nothing but the plain, boring, monotonous daily chores of my existence follow me. No epiphany. No "hallelujah" as the clouds part and my mind clears. But she knew what day my dog would die. Really. The actual day. And she knew I would find, in my new dog, whose name started with E, my soul mate on this earth. A gentle, kind and loving lap dog. And she said he'd be a pit bull.

Of course, she was nuts. She got lucky about Ezmond.